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Are you going to tell me a story or not? Not even when the hammer left my hands A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! ACROBAT [off-stage] The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. Agatha Trunchbull: When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! and . I have suffered in this Jail, [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] He surely can't! Oh, my head! RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. MISS HONEY MATILDA . in . Wonderful. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? I'm incredible! And the second part is Chokey! MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. MRS WORMWOOD Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. PERSPERATION! She laughs. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. Are you listening? And it isn't wide enough to sit. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. School is really fun, according to my mum. What do you want, Miss Chutney? Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. I want you around here now with another car! [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] AMANDA You gotta get up! 2. a contract. DOCTOR This child doesn't have a "thingie" . MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. Now, eat it. And therefore, she is guilty! MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. . MRS PHELPS Mum, would you like to hear a story? Please! I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . . Filthy, nasty things. Jenny: [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] . I want to be in school. No excuse, Bruce. With an owchie . . MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. [talks to the woman librarian] A life. AAAHH! She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. MATILDA Between you and it, Yes, your teacher. Like you, I was curious, Don't be pathetic! The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. MRS PHELPS screams and exits. . ], MISS HONEY Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. (Bruce!) [She turns the screens back on.]. That is a promise. Why? google_ad_width=120; For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Yes! Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Well done, Bogtrotter. The Invisible Man . Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD Jenny: But that's not fair! The most common thing in life is life . What is this, a hot tub party? MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. How far can you go? MRS WORMWOOD Dip face! NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Babes, I'm on fire, here! [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] Find the bally line and toe it, Agatha Trunchbull: I might have known. Matilda: Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. But I'm his little soldier. The stage goes black. Piacelli. "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. Who you been talking to? Now, that is how you do it! Miss Honey: Somewhere along the way, my dear, You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 10. MISS HONEY Platinum blonde hair dye. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Just go up and introduce yourself. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. And even if you put in heaps of effort, 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Oh, yeah. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. Who wants stories? What's wrong with you? 20. MATILDA Everybody loves a little something exotic. If you are having fun, you are not learning. MRS PHELPS MR WORMWOOD 1. MR WORMWOOD So you're Wormwood, are you? Agatha Trunchbull: Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. You've seen one before. Look at these trophies. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. I can't abandon my children. Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. MISS TRUNCHBULL Hey, Dip face. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] Who is this, babe? MISS HONEY Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] No, it's a library book! Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. [chanting with the rest of the class] [suspicious] Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! Keep out of reach of children. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. Oh, my good Lord! [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] You can be all cynical, I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. Seven times two is fourteen. To read? Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] Yes. Mr. Wormwood: . Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Looks are more important than books. Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! Rudolpho! . Special guest towards the end. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. . You can read words. Are you a pig, Amanda? ], CHILDREN "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, MISS HONEY CHILDREN . I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! As me. Who would be here to sign for the packages? Matilda, isn't it? Miracle! But this little girl . Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. . [on the phone, yells] We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. MATILDA Above average is average. Mr. Wormwood: . One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. She stops in triumph. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! AAAIIGHHH! [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. But if I try I can remeMber, And you know where you'll end up? . Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. To hammer throwing, life, and school I did! MRS WORMWOOD Please, stand, and do as much as you can. Fifteen times two is thirty. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. What you know matters less [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. it isn't fair! National Green Hair Day! Loud, loud, loud, loud! Get the hell outta here! Zinnia Wormwood: Dosvedoo-dah. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. DOCTOR Get on with it. It's out of the question. 1. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. MR WORMWOOD 6. The biggest burp I had ever heard about! "It is our destiny ". 2 0 obj . [turns to Michael] What on earth did you do that for? 6. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] MR WORMWOOD And remember to be extremely careful. Did you see all those packages outside? You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. Zinnia Wormwood: It's the mileage. MISS HONEY Matilda: My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! And . Pokemon Pick Up Lines. The boy's a looney. The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. There's, erm . We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. MATILDA That's all right, Jenny. Past Lavender. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. MISS TRUNCHBULL Here. MISS TRUNCHBULL There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Can I ask you a question? Miss Honey: I'll say! I didn't do it. 13. MRS PHELPS Miss Honey: [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. I have suffered in this jail. BRUCE And another door closes. MATILDA collects her books. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. AAHHH! You're not a little girl. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. . The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Harry Wormwood: To fetch a pail of water. RD.com. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. Me, me, me, me. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. In . MATILDA You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. MRS WORMWOOD Looks like rain. You could have heard a fly burp. You | Hup, two, four, free. Tomorrow at one? He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Now, the secret to my success in business is . BRUCE BRUCE BOTH: What a dear! MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. . Hide me! MRS PHELPS I think she might be an idiot. NIGEL NIGEL, TOMMY Yourself, Matilda? They're individual! . I don't want another one. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. MISS TRUNCHBULL . She laughs. Look at that! Okay. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. What am doing here? But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. A single slice, But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. This still, unbroken skin, Think of the possibilities.". The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. Aaaargh! I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. MATILDA They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Zinnia Wormwood: I told them, I said, "Hey. Oh, right. He's going to blow. Stop! This boy's got no fingie. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Harry Wormwood: 9. Semi-Spanish gown I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. And I'm very sorry . This must confirm, Bruce, . I'm the best! [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] Harry Wormwood: Don't take me to Chokey! She'll call a truce, Bruce. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. MR WORMWOOD But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. The endings are often a little bit gory! Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. MRS PHELPS Thank you for suggesting it. . Lovekins, where's my breakfast? BRUCE The cars will break down. . Oh, my lovely hair! MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. Yes, sir. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: You just need to keep your feet inside the line. I'd love to meet her, actually . So they say. Because you're pretty darn sweet. A person. Bruce! Hanging down by your ears. Twelve times two is twenty-four. 7. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. Quite the contrary. This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. [hands Michael the cookies] Oops! and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. I don't want green hair. MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. FBI Agent Bill: Matilda: Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. [yells] Matilda Wormwood is an exception . You seem to think that people like people what are clever. Nonsense. I'd love to read to you some time. Matilda: Agatha Trunchbull: When I grow up . Useless, flamin' car! This is the worst day of my life! My mommy thinks they're sweet. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. Not the end of your nose. Won't change a thing. I have the adoption papers. Matilda? Hm? Like Romeo and Juliet, You have to stay inside the circle . It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. MRS WORMWOOD See you next week. . Did I let myself go. And people would come from miles around: kings! BIG KID [RYAN] For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. No one is as handsome, strong as me. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. Every new life . Agatha Trunchbull: Then your mummy is a twit! MATILDA And sailed high up, up above the stands "Lovely"? DOCTOR . The fibers fused to my hair! The 3rd cost $68. Yes. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. so I pick it up and - No! But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Mrs. D? Matilda: . ALICE and HORTENSIA Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. Zinnia Wormwood: What is the school motto, Miss Honey? 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. . I didn't do anything! Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Matilda: She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. I've got a whole house to look after! I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? . Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Flashbulbs go off. He got a C on his report! MISS TRUNCHBULL When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. In this classroom, in this school, I am god! Jenny: Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. 1. [COUPLES If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. COUPLE 4 . MATILDA So, Matilda. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, To stand up and be proud! What car? Nothing will change. green! [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. . NIGEL Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? My school is a model of discipline! Completely different cars, sir. That's not normal for a five-year-old. She says they make me look pretty! I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You're almost finished. So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. Very supple. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Why don't you run away? Lost your appetite? More than one. The Lord of the Rings . RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Jenny: MRS WORMWOOD I'm in the zone, doll! And I will teach you a thing or two. Matilda: See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. You can adopt me. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! Oh, my good Lord. . Oliver Twist . I should be dancing the Tarentella You missed it. A weakling? You are a crook. BIG KIDS Just write. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. MATILDA . An exception. . "Escapologist", he says! google_color_link="000000"; . I'm not crying because it's sad. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Write this down. How does that sound? 4. endobj You're off to school in a few days' time. Bruce Bogtrotter: MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. Harry Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. Harry Wormwood: That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Right. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? What? You don't let me talk to people! [They start chattering. Dad too. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] I'm great! You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. One times two is two. 2. You make money? According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, I think in effect, Is the first word . MATILDA If you always take it on the chin and wear it, . The Secret Garden . And if it's not right, He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. Matilda! Don't put honey on your brother. MR WORMWOOD I can be a soldier. [to Zinnia] have you read a whole book? I'm not guilty! Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. What're they going to do, repossess the kid? "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. Eleven times two is twenty-two. Did you hear what he said? Harry Wormwood: Yes. . DOCTOR Look, am I fat? MRS PHELPS If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. Patience, my love. MAN: We'll have to change his school. I don't know. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. . Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. MATILDA But she is a squib. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! MRS WORMWOOD I'll tell you tomorrow. She found a small cottage. Let me tell you something, son. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Bruce! . And if you cry it will be double. Rules? I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. Stand up and be proud! I ate the lot! Good show. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Go on. Where'd all this come from? The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. Oh, let's put it this way. You Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD I'll tell you something. A beautiful, beautiful little girl. DOCTOR Miss Honey: That's right, honey, look at mummy. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. [He sits down in a zen position.]. ? Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Agatha Trunchbull: Might have been nice, My, my, that is good. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Harry Wormwood: Not dressed in hospital cotton, BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. I will not say anymore! How dare they speak to me like that! Jenny: Jenny : Not as brave as you. MR WORMWOOD Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. MATILDA Where are the children's books? Harry Wormwood: This is the cottage from your story. MATILDA Before my happy days were over, 1. MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. Just knock on the door. MATILDA One look at my face and it's plain to see. BRUCE A fool? You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. [to MATILDA] You! You've never set foot in a library. 5. MATILDA That's not fair at all! And that's not right. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. You're being pathetic! Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. RUDOLPHO 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Ciao, Rudolpho. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. BIG KIDS Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. He's my dance partner. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) An audience cheers. Crazy Credits Connections . . A few! I didn't do anything! MR WORMWOOD [looking at a portrait of her father] MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. Matilda: What do I have to do to gain respect around here? . PARTY ENTERTAINER Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Isn't there some more? Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. MISS HONEY I've got a plane to catch at three. . Whatever you do, just don't give in. And so, the great day arrived! [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Don't waste this. You have to put it right. But the "tomato" is a very good word. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL stream You've made an awful error. When she was just two years old, her mother died. MRS PHELPS The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! FBI Agent Bob: Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. | Share this Matilda : I love it here! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] That's right, sir. MISS TRUNCHBULL 2. What am I thinking? The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. MRS WORMWOOD Oh no, Headmistress. Matilda: endobj MRS WORMWOOD Just so you all know, she's my best friend! . Look at you hesitating. Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. Get in the car, Melinda! MISS HONEY front bottom. In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. I'm never wrong! . . You don't need happiness or self-esteem. You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! MATILDA sits down reading a book. MATILDA MISS HONEY Crowd! I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Lord knows we've tried. Oh, yeah? Am I . Am I wrong? MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. Million $ Sticky Host: Look at mummy. 4. Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. Harry Wormwood: Trunchbull: Ten times two is twenty. MR WORMWOOD Knock on the door, Jenny. The more that you try, I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. You fool! Past Matilda. His whatchamacallit. Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda: One day when I'm older, The scene unfreezes. You should stay out of trouble Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? My daddy says I'm his special little . I like a joke as well as the next fat person! A little less head, a lot more derriere. BRUCE wilts by the desk. MATILDA The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. The secret to my success is this. The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. Ah-ah-aah-ah That was only the first part of your punishment. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] And this . Now, here's a tip: Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. What've you done with his fingie? MAN: I think he blinked. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. MISS HONEY You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. MISS HONEY Mrs. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Zinnia Wormwood: To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. . "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.".

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